Digital Impulse

We go through this phase many times in our lives. There may be times that we feel so insecure about ourselves and many times over, we give up before even trying. If you've ever felt this way, don't worry too much about it. I've been in similar situations too in the past, but a little new knowledge and time work wonders on me. The key to defeating the feelings of worthlessness?

Boost your self esteem!

Like it or not, your level of self-esteem defines your personality. A person with good and pleasant personality is a person who always thinks rationally. Thinking positive is good too, but only to a certain extent. The best you can do to help yourself is by rationalising - get in touch with the inner you. Here's what you can do boost your self-esteem for a better personality and a more pleasant relationship of any kind:

1. Avoid criticising or insulting yourself when you make mistakes. Admit your mistakes, but rationalise with yourself about the nature of the mistakes. Don't jump to telling yourselves "I can never do anything right!'" or "That's it, I'm cursed!" or "I'm just plain stupid". Instead, tell yourselves something like "I'll do better next time" or "Maybe I was not careful enough. I'll be more careful next time" or even "I'm a human too, and it's normal for us humans to make mistakes at some points in our lives!".

2. Cope with your problems, don't 'mope' around with your problem. Thinking about problems at hand and not do anything will make it worse. Instead of feeling blue all over because of your problems, remind yourselves that there are other people out there who face more serious, life-threatening problems compared to you.

Keep in mind that the only person who can help us is ourselves. Other people can only help make we feel better, but to overcome it completely is a task we are responsible for. If we love ourselves, we have to start helping ourselves.

"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues." - Washington Irving -

I used to think that tears are the ultimate symbol of one's weakness - his inability to cope with conflicts and troubles at hand which prompted him to cry in helplessness. It took me well over a few years to realise that tears do not make one weak. In fact, the warm drops of water from the well of the eyes have the the power to make us stronger than we were.

Don't be afraid to cry. When were born, the first thing we did was cry. There's nothing to be ashamed of even if you were to shed tears in a crowd full of people. To be able to cry is already courage in itself and that is something that you should be proud of. At times when you feel at your lowest, bluest, crying will help you lift some weight off your shoulders.

Take my case for example. Back when I still insisted that tears are disgusting, I could not bring myself to look at the mirror, afraid to see my face marred with helpless tears trickling down my cheeks reddened by anger. I was overcome with self-hate; when I cry, it was always because I could not contain my anger and my feelings. Needless to say, I was extremely ugly everytime I cried back then. And not to mention exceptionally loud too. There was one time that I fell asleep crying.

That one time where I fell asleep made me realise something I never paid attention to before. After crying, I felt a lot better. My head felt lighter, and I could barely remember why I was so upset in the first place. Bundled with self motivation and a little research into the world of self-healing, I found out about the ultimate healing powers in tears.

Tears can lift your mood as they alleviate the veil of darkness we put over ourselves. I have now come to realise that even though crying does not solve anything (as many people like to quote), it does help make us feel better. If we simply keep everything to ourselves, pretending to be overly happy when the truth is the complete opposite, it would be like driving ourselves to the brink of suicide.

The bottom line is: Do not be ashamed of your tears. Let it all out and when it's over, you'll feel better than ever.

(Hey, the title rhymes! Well, almost..)You know, sometimes I think it's refreshing to visit those Malaysian portals created years and years ago when blogging was not yet a trend on the worldwide web. So I went to Cari.com.my (www.cari.com.my) to look around and see what changes it had gone through for the past few years that I haven't paid attention to it at all. The general outlook is still pretty much the same as before, but I was shocked when I reached the 'Classifieds' page, especially the job section.

Cari RedBox Listing

V8 Closed

When Motorola announced that they were going to launch RAZR2 series to replace the previous RAZR series near the end of last year, I was more than excited. It is no secret that my all-time favourite brand of mobile phone is Motorola, mainly because I still have not found a match for its versatile RAZR keypads which are extremely comfortable to my fingers.

But V8, which is currently some kind of talk-of-the-magazines and mobile marketplace in Malaysia, disappoints me. Yes, it's got the look - the sleek shiny design that simply screams sexy. With 2MPX camera and large 2"  QVGA 262k colours external display, I was initially drawn to it. Although I love the prospect of having a 3G phone (like my V3X which has been stolen a couple of months ago), I don't particularly mind having a phone as sleek and stunningly beautiful as V8 even if it doesn't have 3G features. What I mind is the fact that it does not support external storage. A mobile phone dealer once chuckled and told me: "It's a new era. Who would buy a phone that does not have memory card slots now? Unless the storage is a whopping 4GB to 8GB, then that's another story altogether."

V8 Opened

Motorola V8 comes in packages ranging from 420MB to 2GB shared internal storage, and no, the 2GB type is not going to hit the local market anytime soon if the current price for V8 420MB-512MB says anything. With the advancement of technology, a phone with internal capacity of 2GB is not too appealing. People can easily get mp3 players with 2GB of storage for less than RM100. The market today even sells mp4 players with large storage sizes (2GB, 4GB, 8GB, etc) at incredibly low prices. Since Motorola aimed for V8 to be a phone for multimedia purposes, I'd say they've done a fairly 'bad' job.

Come one, who would buy a phone with only 500MB storage at RM1,600? I definitely wouldn't.

For now, I shall stick to Motorola Maxx even though it seems to be a bit bulky.

My Journal

Students are very much like pressure cookers - they open the lid and let people put stuff into them. And then, they apply pressure (or rather, 'they' are pressured) in order to cook the stuff in a relatively short timeframe. On the other hand, there are students who are similar to slow cookers; they take longer time to cook, but the end result is worth the wait. The effort. The energy and time taken. It makes patience a beautiful thing.

The above paragraph is an abstract from my private journal entry dated June 25, 2007.

I was feeling low and decided to browse through my handwritten journal entries. I almost forgot writing about it. Now that I recall, I was in the middle of a lecture when the idea came to mind. There are many types of learners in this world; they adopt styles that fit them best. Unfortunately, society where I love in does not think this way. Their view of a good, A-class student is a person who is hardworking, consistent, bookworm-ish, and polite and who rigidly plays by the rules: the no-nonsense kind of person.

There was a student who was thought as the type who poked fun at everything and was not serious in his studies. In the teachers' opinion, he played and joked around all the time. They thought he never revised his lessons as he seemed to appear distracted most of the time in the classroom. Yes, he appeared disinterested but he never disturbed other students during lessons. When he aced in exam, they accused him of cheating.

Now, isn't that scenario a bit too revolting? Whatever happened to individuality? Whatever happened to the famous statement 'different person, different styles'? Having a flair for 'having fun' does not mean a student is not serious with his or her studies. Teachers (and other students) should not jump straight to conclusions. They should have at least talked to the aforementioned carefree student for information regarding his studies. Sometimes, one learns best on one's own. In the case of the boy mentioned in above paragraph, he was actually the type of person who study diligently at home from 8pm until 1am every single day. It is only unfortunate that when his effort paid off, no one believed him, not even his teachers who were supposed to be his pillars of support.

In my opinion, a 'good' student does not refer to a student who follows everything his teacher said, nor does it refer to a student who follows the rule like a machine and sits somewhere in the corner immersed in a book or other reading materials (if not practice exam questions). A good student is a student who knows his goals -the term refers to a student who knows why he needs education, why he goes to school everyday and how he wants to lead his life in the future. A good student acknowledges what his teachers had done for him when he succeeds. Nowadays, there are many cases where when students ace in exam, they boast about their learning styles and the support they get from their parents. Teachers almost never came first on the list. However when students fail, they immediately put the blame on their subject teachers, accusing the poor teachers of not knowing how to teach properly, etc, etc.

Sad, isn't it?

FOOL’S  BALLAD – [Part I]
When folly begets misery, Fool trips miserably.
by: Adlina

Oh, what purpose do I serve in this life?
Caught in between deceit and folly and lies
Did I not see the road Triumph once travelled
– now locked out of memory so dishevelled?
Why, oh why had I waited for morning sun
when moon in darkness doth brightly shine?

Oh, Triumph, where have you gone to now?
Did you ever find those whose knitted brows
frown upon and scorn your tales of bravery?
Were you so disheartened by their ignorant mockery
that you’ve turned your heart black and walk another lane
that strayed from when you succumbed not to pain?

Oh, what does the mirror reflect when I dare look
into its truth-bearing surface where every nook and crook
of what was once myself laughed in reverberating euphoric madness?
Dare I summon Triumph back and seek the forgotten happiness
once promised in my young days where the world doth go round
and in merriment doth the universe turn when I looked around?

Oh, Fool, I was –Fool, I am, for my cowardly retreat
from reality and truth and all that make my heart beat.
And my blood boils, my skin crawls, my mind’s burnt ashes
as I lost myself in those times long past, in those flashes
of memories once treasured, memories of iridescent brightness
where you and I waltzed to our promised happiness.

What other names did your parents consider for you?

Hm... My name is Wan Intan Adlina. My name is supposed to be Wan Adlina, though my parents also considered something along the lines of Izzara and Akmaliza. Adlina (Adl) means justice in Arabic. Since I am the only girl in the family, Mama wanted to call me Intan (which means 'diamond' in Malay) at home even though my name would not have 'Intan' registered. She wanted to call me 'Intan' as some kind of pet name for me.

So the day my Papa went to register my name, my Mama thought my name would be registered as 'Wan Adlina'. When he returned, though, she said she was more amused than surprised when she saw that he registered me as 'Wan Intan Adlina'.

=)

The past two weeks of semester break were kind of blur to me. That, or my mind was not in the healthiest state~ Now I have approximately 2 weeks before venturing into the new semester with a whole new syllabus and new subjects. I'll have School-based Experience (SBE) waiting for me, and of course, a 'healthy' amount of assignments to be handed in. Joy. As nothing particularly interesting happened for the past few days, let me just give you a tour of what I have been doing at home so far...

Territory

Desk2

Glass Angel

Oh, see the little glass angel? That one is a new addition, a gift from a dear friend of mine on the day I took my flight home for the semester break. Cute, isn't it? Thanks Mr.Sappy Fifi~
    

Spare Phone

Oh, and when I get tired sitting at the table, I hop into bed and read some old books. I'm currently rereading Sherlock Holmes and the New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes written by various authors.

Bed

The purpose of my Apple iBook there is .... only for iTunes. Yes, I know it's a waste of battery and electricity, but I'm just too lazy to move to the table. And when I'm feeling a cheery, I'd write drabbles while the iTunes plays on.

There you go - Things I Do If I Don't Leave My Room. As for my sudden interesting in cooking during the holidays, I'll leave that out for another day.